


Sleep Deprivation

by Honey_Honey



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Cute, Destiel - Freeform, First Kiss, M/M, away from that horrendous conclusion, enjoy! <3, it ends up okay i think, it's funny LOL, please don't mention the finale here LMAO, sleep deprived dean makes some dumb choices, this is a safe space, ugh anyway i love them, writing from dean's POV is so cathartic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:55:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27754195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Honey_Honey/pseuds/Honey_Honey
Summary: Dean licked his lips. They tasted like honey. Which was funny, seeing as it was the one part of his breakfast he hadn’t eaten. In fact, Cas had tried the honey instead.Oh. Oh fuck.“Did I just kiss Cas?”And Sam’s descent into uncontrollable laughter was an answer enough.ORThe one where killing monsters leaves Dean without a week of sleep, and Cas has to deal with the consequences.
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel & Sam Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, Destiel
Comments: 24
Kudos: 220





	1. Honey

Dean finished loading the last gun, tossing it into the back of the Impala, along with the other weapons he’d fixed up and the knives he’d sharpened. He heard Sam and Cas step out of the motel as he shut the trunk. “Dean,” Cas said as he turned, voice as deep and grave as ever. Sam quickly slipped away, loading his own bag into the back seat of the Impala. Dean smiled.

He’d had a long couple nights, and he’d asked Sam to drive so he could get some extra shut eye. The monster they’d been hunting had, of course, cursed Dean with nightmares that put his usual terrors to shame (just his luck, really). He’d been awake for almost 4 days straight, without more than an hour of sleep. He could barely keep himself upright, and that morning, he’d already tried to drink from one of his guns and load his coffee with salt rounds.

“Cas,” Dean responded, walking up to him. He felt a familiar weight settle in his chest as he got ready to say goodbye. It would only be for a couple months, but Cas had warned him that they wouldn’t have contact for a while. Cas wouldn’t be able to hear his prayers, or come bail him out of trouble. Dean was rightfully worried for the wellbeing of his best friend. At least that’s what he told himself, anyway. “You gonna be okay?”

With a small smile, Cas nodded. “Nothing bigger than what we have had to deal with before. I’m not sure you will be fine without me, however.” He tilted his head, his face in that perpetual look of slight worry and confusion. “You’ll be okay. Right?”

Dean chuckled quietly, everything funnier now that he was so sleep deprived. He placed a hand on Cas’ shoulder. Then the other hand on the other shoulder. “Don’t you worry about me, sunshine,” he sighed, smiling as Cas’ bright blue eyes widened at him slightly. “I’ll be fine. You keep yourself safe, though, okay?”

He watched Cas swallow visibly, and heard Sam chuckle quietly off to the side (What was so funny?). Cas was speaking, and Dean focused on that. He found Cas’ voice comforting. It made him even more tired, like he could fall asleep to it. “I told you, I’ll be fine. I’m an angel, you know.” Dean’s smile grew as Cas laughed a little. “You haven’t… slept in a while. Are you sure you’ll be okay? I can try to heal your fatigue-”

“Shhh,” Dean replied, and Cas’ eyebrows raised. He moved his hands to hold Cas’ face gently, barely registering how much warmer his face felt the longer Dean’s hands were there. “You’re sweet, but I’ll be fine.” Without another thought, Dean leaned forward and connected his lips to Cas’ in a quick, sweet kiss. He patted his stunned best friend on the cheek. “See you soon, angel.”

And with that, Dean made his way to the passenger side of the Impala, humming quietly to Led Zeppelins ‘Immigrant Song’ as it played from the car stereo. He closed his door and laid his head back on his seat, eyes closed, as Sam shut the driver side door and started the car. Dean licked his lips. They tasted like honey. Which was funny, seeing as it was the one part of his breakfast he hadn’t eaten. In fact, Cas had tried the honey instead.

Oh. Oh fuck.

“Did I just kiss Cas?”

And Sam’s descent into uncontrollable laughter was an answer enough. Dean groaned, covering his face and shrinking into himself, sliding down in his seat, as he truly realized how badly he’d fucked up. “Fuck.” No wonder Cas looked so startled. “Fuck.” Imagine what he was thinking right now. “Fuck, fuck,  _ holy fuck. _ ”

“Yeah.” Sam was still laughing, and he glanced away from the road to give Dean a mocking grin. “You know, maybe Cas should have healed your fatigue. God, Dean, this is the funniest thing you’ve ever done.”

Dean would have smacked his brother, had he not been driving the Impala. “Shut the fuck up, Sam,” he whined, hands still over his eyes. He’d fucking kissed Cas. On the  _ lips _ . And, if he was being honest with himself (which he was decidedly not), he’d enjoyed it. He could still taste the honey on his own lips. Cas’ lips were soft…

Cas said he might not be able to hear their prayers, but… it was worth a try.  _ ‘I’m sorry, Cas. I wasn’t thinking, I’m basically asleep right now.’ _ Dean tried not to think about the feel of Cas’ lips on his. He pinched his own arm and focused on that instead before continuing, driving other thoughts out of his mind.  _ ‘I don’t even know if you’ll hear this, but… I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable. Or mad. God, okay, um. I’ll see you… soon, hopefully.’ _

He sighed and opened his eyes. “Talking to Cas?” Sam asked, the teasing in his voice more than Dean could take. He almost sounded like the various demons and angels that accused Cas of being Dean’s boyfriend (holy shit, were they able to read him better than he could read himself?)

“You shut your face,” Dean retorted, turning up the radio to drown out Sam’s laugh. ‘Ramble On’ blasted through the speakers. Dean couldn’t help but think about how he’d put it on the mixtape he’d made for Cas (Fuck. He’d made Cas a Led Zeppelin  _ mixtape. _ Was he really that oblivious to his OWN feelings?)

What would he do when he saw Cas again? He had three months to figure out his feelings. Or, more likely, to let his feelings eat him alive and do nothing to figure out his next step.

Sam was singing along to the stereo, happily tapping his hands on the steering wheel. Dean decided to take a much needed nap.

And if he dreamed about Cas (more specifically, if he dreamed so vividly that he could feel Cas’ lips on his once more), that was none of anyone's business.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, this was written in the middle of the night with little to no editing. It's 12am. What do you want me to do LMAOJAKLFJS
> 
> I hope you guys liked this!! I thought the idea was cute, so you know I had to do it. I'm thinking of doing a second chapter to it, where it'll be Dean and Cas after these few months have passed, reuniting and stuff. Let me know if y'all are feeling that :)
> 
> On that note, thank you for reading! Please, feel free to leave me a comment or check out my other works! As always, please, take care of yourselves <3 ;)


	2. Reunion

“Shut up,” Dean muttered, glaring at his brother, who sat in the passenger seat of the Impala.

The look on Sam’s face was caught between a grin and feigned innocence. “I didn’t say anything!” He exclaimed, watching Dean with barely contained laughter, as they drove out to Bobby’s place.

It had been a little over three months since they’d last talked to Cas. Dean had prayed here and there, even though there was a large chance Cas couldn’t hear him. Maybe that was a good thing, though. His prayers consisted of him apologizing, then sorting through his own feelings out loud, admitting to not only wanting to kiss Cas again ( _ ‘If you’re okay with it, of course. God, I’m so glad you can’t hear me. This is embarrassing.’ _ ) but starting to realize what made him like Cas.

He’d accidentally spent way too long memorizing the lines in Cas’ face. And the way his hair fell. And the numerous shades of blue in his eyes.  _ Fuck. _

Dean pulled into Bobby’s garage, parking the Impala and letting Sam get out first. He laid his head back on the seat and closed his eyes.  _ ‘Hey, Cas,’ _ he found himself praying.  _ ‘Just, um, here to say sorry. For the millionth time. Even though you can’t hear me.’ _ Dean sighed, tempted to open his eyes and just get on with his day. Bobby was probably telling Sam about something they’d have to hunt. He needed to do something productive.

_ ‘Come back soon, okay? We… I miss you.’ _

* * *

Dean sat in Bobby’s kitchen, his head in his hands, an untouched, open beer sitting on the table next to him. He could feel Bobby looking at him, as Sam probably explained why he was in such a bad mood.

Cas could be back in the next couple days, and Dean still had no idea how he was going to explain his fuck up. Or whether he even considered it a bad thing anymore (if Cas didn’t hate him for it, then,,, all in all, he didn’t think it was that bad).

He heard a gasp. Then Sam’s shushing. Ugh.

“I’m headed outside,” he said, standing and grabbing the keys to his Baby, leaving his beer on the table. “Gonna… check on Baby.”

He could almost feel how much Bobby and Sam didn’t believe him, but they waved him out anyway, saying they’d call him when they needed him. He hoped that wouldn’t be for a while. He had a lot of thinking to do.

After 10 minutes of getting nothing done, other than moping more, Dean decided to go for a drive. He took his Baby out, headed to a field he and Sam always passed on their way to Bobby’s place. He drove for a couple minutes, to a little cliff that looked out over a lake. He’d always wanted to check the place out. It seemed peaceful, the cliff covered in bright grass, surrounded by strong trees.

Dean stopped the Impala, turning the engine off and stepping out of the car. He left his music playing, the soft sound of whatever radio Sam had picked following him out of the car as he leaned against the hood. He looked up at the clouds. Then, he found himself closing his eyes. Bowing his head.

_ ‘Hey, Cas. If angels have some sort of voicemail box for missed prayers, yours must be full as hell. Sorry.’ _

He took a moment to just listen to the music as it played, and the wind as it rustled trees and blades of grass around him. Somewhere around the lake below, he could hear children laughing.

_ ‘I’m here to say I’m sorry, again. And I miss you. And you need to come back soon.’ _ A pause, in which Dean briefly opened his eyes. Maybe he hadn’t been completely useless these past few months, and it dawned on him that he’d definitely figured something out (even if this something probably just caused more problems). His eyes closed again.  _ ‘I have… something to tell you. If you’re okay with it.’ _

Dean almost didn’t register it, when the quiet  _ woosh _ flew past his ear. When he felt the Impala shift as a new weight settled on her hood. He held his breath, slightly embarrassed, mostly afraid that he was being too hopeful.

“Hello, Dean.”

He surprised himself a little, with the way his body sagged from relief, his eyes snapping open to be met with the sight of Cas.

“Cas,” Dean started, shaking his head as he turned to face his friend. “Man, you have no idea how relieved I am to see you in one piece.” He laughed a little, eyebrows furrowed. Here came the part he was dreading. “About, um. Before you left. Look, I’m so-”

He was cut off by Cas shaking his head. “No, it’s okay. You were… sleep deprived.” The angel’s expression turned almost sheepish, his smile uncertain. “It turns out I was wrong. I could hear… the majority of your prayers.”

Dean briefly considered jumping off the little cliff and drowning himself in the lake.

“Fuck,” he groaned, turning away from Cas and hiding his face in his hands. This was the worst possible outcome. Now Cas was going to be awkward. And Sam would definitely make fun of him- or, even worse, pity him. Fuck, fuck,  _ fuck. _ “That means you know what I wanted to tell you. About how I think I feel. I’m so sorry. God, you don’t have to feel bad for me. If you’re okay with it we can try to be, I don’t know, the same as usual. I just… don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

Cas’ answering laugh was the last thing he expected to hear (and it didn’t help that the sound made him feel like he was going to pass out). Dean peeked through his fingers, watching as Cas came closer. Moved his hands from his face. Smiled at him. “Dean,” he said, still holding the man's hands. “I don’t feel bad for you. And I’m not uncomfortable.” Dean sighed in relief, and Cas continued. “I just- I want to do one thing. So we’re… sure. I mean- Do you trust me?”

He raised an eyebrow, a little confused, but mostly relieved that Cas wasn’t scrambling to get away from him. “Of course I do,” Dean said, watching Cas carefully. “Whatever it is, I trust you.”

“Okay,” Cas replied simply, his hands letting go of Dean’s, only to land on his cheeks, holding his face gently. Then, before Dean could blink, Cas leaned forward and kissed him.

It was different from the accidental first kiss, Dean thought to himself. Cas no longer tasted like processed honey, but he still tasted sweet. His lips were still soft. His stubble scratched Dean’s chin, and he found himself leaning in more to feel it. Dean hadn’t realized that he’d closed his eyes, or that his arms had wrapped around Cas’ waist, until they pulled away and he attempted to catch his breath, their foreheads pressed together.

When he did open his eyes, Dean was met with his favorite color: Cas’ intense blue gaze. He felt himself start laughing, and the sound of Cas’ laughter joining him was music to his ears. “Holy shit,” he said, leaning on Cas as their laughter subsided. “I mean- wow. Holy shit.”

Cas grinned. “I assume you now know how I felt.” He tilted his head, brushing a thumb over Dean’s cheek. The look on his face was something like adoration, and Dean felt his knees go weak (he felt like a lovesick teenager). “We’re even.”

Dean shook his head, unable to keep a smile off his face. “Shut the fuck up, Cas,” he said, pulling the angel impossibly closer. “Just… shut up. And kiss me again.”

Cas did as told.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys ;) it is, for the second day in a row, 12 am. i am on FIRE
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this! I think I'll end this little idea here (it feels complete, lol). let me know what you thought, or if you have any tips for my writing!! also, tomorrow i promise to update "Halloween, Angels, and Midnight," I'm writing the end of the chapter right now (so you know it's gonna be good LOL, sleep deprived writing is my best kind of writing).
> 
> As always, I love you and thank you so so much for reading. Please, take care of yourself!! ;) <3


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